I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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