i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
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I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
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I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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