everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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