I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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