I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
But theres a keg here and me gusta
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
