hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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