Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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