so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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