Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
