2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
