I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
