On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I need a hoe opinion
go on
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