He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Randomize
