he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Randomize
