you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
