Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize