Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Randomize
