I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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