you didnt know i had herpes?
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Randomize
