apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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