Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
