What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
