I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
