I love black thongs
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
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