Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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