I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
