it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
