Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
