he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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