I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Randomize
