oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
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But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
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Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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