I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
