So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
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Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
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I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
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