Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
