fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
