i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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