Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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