Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
