my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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