Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
