Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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