I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
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