he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Dick very happy bro
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Randomize
