i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Randomize
