Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
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