You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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