I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
