you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
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