Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
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