he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
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