wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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