After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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