I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
so that wasnt chicken after all
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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