i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
