No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Someone came in the potted fern
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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