your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
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