having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
The power of my boobs compel you
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
