Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
