I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
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