bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
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Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
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All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Who died my cat blue again?
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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