i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Alive.
So much puke
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Randomize
