it hurts more in the daytime
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
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