Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
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