You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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