You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
