I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
